Adults, stop being boring
Adulting is overrated; Fun is underrated
You know how some kids say that when they were little they would wish they were adults?
Like, they’d pretend to don full pants or a saree and go to work and shit. Their minds would be full of all the confectionary and toy-dom wonders they could purchase with the imaginary money that they believe would rain on them once they become adults.
I was never fooled by the seductive siren call of being an adult.
Even when I was a kid, I was acutely aware of the charms of being a kid. I was blissfully aware of how irresponsible I could be. I was free from the drudgery of chores (mostly, except when asked to clean my study table). More time to read books and imagine stories. More time to play cricket.
Adults did boring things. They were forever busy, off to work, or to the bank, or buying things at the market. They would visit nondescript offices with peeling paint to dispute a signature or stand in line to pay some bills.
Adults talked about things that were boring. Not always, but mostly.
They discussed the news. The debated politics and speculated on the latest palace intrigue happening in the politicial arena.
Schools. Post offices. Banks. Offices. Ticket counters. Checkpoints. Government offices. Colleges. Adult institutions were minefields of monotony. Every organization seemed expressly designed to induce a deep coma of the soul.
And then, in a curious twist of fate, and quite unexpectedly, I became an adult. Or, was told I had become one.
I was now the one having to do the boring things like paying the bills, going to boring government offices, looking at documents and stamp papers, signing on dotted lines, visiting the bank (which is rare in an online world), going to an office, thinking about mutual funds and paying income taxes.
Why is the world designed to be so mind-numbing for adults?
I don’t ask this question flippantly.
In our quest to build a civilization, we’ve all created a collection of make-up tasks that are soul-sucking. We’ve then arduously passed these around to all of us, with the stern warning that we better do these or else things would go off the rails.
These tasks drain us of our innate human creativity and the ape-like playfulness that originally made us the humans we are.
🐒 Fun doesn’t equal frivolity; Boring doesn’t equal substantial
One of the worst things the world teaches us growing up is that fun equals frivolity. That if you are having fun, you are using up time to make yourself happy and then you got to go and do some boring things to make up for it.
Who decided this?
Marshmallow test is bullshit. Eat the damn marshmallow.
Are you having too much fun painting? But no, you can’t do it all the time - go and study maths.
Are you having a lot of fun with maths? But what about Physics and chemistry.
Do you enjoy reading books a lot? Sure, but only on holidays.
Cricket? Only for select hours.
Fun was always bound by time. Technically, the boring parts were never bound because the adults knew that it was naturally bound. No one ever wanted to keep studying civics for many hours.
‘Grow up’ they tell you.
Consequence of all this is that by the time you are an adult, you have pretty strongly established mental models on what being a responsible adult is. What is a good use of time and a bad use of time? What’s the mature, adult thing to do?
Pay the bills, of course. Worry about the investments. Buy grocery.
Fun is good but its frivolous. You are an adult with so much to do and important things to achieve - how dare you have fun.
The parent is inside you now, a part of the brain that’s constantly chiding you when you have fun telling you to go be an adult soon or else….
😴 Sad, boring adults
Adults are mostly boring. Now, there’s a distinction between the state of being bored and the affliction of being boring.
Do boring things long enough and you become boring. Being bored, on the other hand, is a wonderful thing. This is usually the prelude to the onset of quirky diversions. But adults never let themselves be bored. Instead, they fill their lives with boring (‘important’) things that never give them the ennui that boredom creates.
Consequently, most adults become glum and boring automata. The tragedy is that they believe that’s the right way to be an adult.
Stop being guilty about doing silly, fun things
Go to an ice cream shop and get a gelato🍦. Or take a day off and luxuriate in the bed, reading 🛌. Maybe, indulge in a new hobby you wanted to try your hand at. Grow a plant 🌱. Build something. Draw 🖌️. Rent a cycle and just go around the place 🚴🏽♀️.
Here’s something even silly. I was remarking to N recently about how most kids, anywhere in the world, love running. It’s a game. It’s contest, if ther’s more than one. They sprint, while squealing breathlessly, as fast as their little legs can go and even beyond. They may even go sprawling on the ground, get up laughing, and continue running.
And yet, as an adult, running is a measured and calculated activity, treated with a soberness of an exam, always steady. For health. Maybe I need to try running a bit like a child, arms flailing, as fast as I can, for a bit?
Imagine living like an irresponsible child.
See, I’ve made you uncomfortable. That sounds dreadful! That’s what selfish people do.
I am not saying be irresponsible or shirk on your duties or let your life fall apart, but start considering what that would mean for you. And then start doing some of those things - you will realize that there is still a lot of child-like fun to be had.
Wow, did this man-child really write 900 words because he was bored of paying his bills?
Perhaps….
Could be Worse,
Tyag
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Wow, I love this!! As someone with ADHD, having fun is one of my priorities (and main motivators!). I've never understood people who keep slogging away at something when it's no fun for them. Like, either the outcome or the process has to be fun for you, or preferably both!
Very relatable. Surprisingly, one of the by-products of being around a child, which I least expected, and is now the best part of being a parent for me is being a child again through/with them. Being curious, being silly, exploring, running around with no baggage attached to it (like weight loss/health), trying out the see-saws, swings, kiddie rides with them in the park, shouting for no reason etc. "Its all worth it" imo is still very debatable but it provides for an odd balance against all of the other "responsibilities" of being a parent.